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Let's Talk: Adoption

Sunday, 13 March 2016

Adoption isn't something I've spoke about on my blog because it's not something that I really think much of, it doesn't really effect my life. However, I feel like there is a lot of misconceptions about people who are adopted and it seems to be this secret thing that people find awkward, so here I am talking about it. 

Firstly, I thought I'd give some context. I was adopted at 10 weeks old by my lovely parents. I have an adopted brother, Daniel, who is 6 years older than me. I have never met any of my biological family and I don't have any plans to; not because of any sour feelings, I just don't feel the need to. I can meet them at any time but it's not in my interest because I feel like it will open the door to relationships that I'm not really sure that I want to have; I think my life is fab how it is, hahah.

So the reason I wanted to talk about adoption is because there's so many misleading ideas about it; people either think you're like Tracy Beaker or someone off Long Lost Family. Don't get me wrong, I love the idea of Long Lost Family, I think it's great that people find what they are looking for but not everyone who is adopted has something missing from their life. Also the programme is so interesting, like how do they find these people?!?

I find the idea that people should want to meet their biological parents to feel fulfilled is kind of strange? I mean if thats something that you think you need to do, then thats fine but whenever someone finds out I am adopted, they seem to assume that it's something that I'd want. I always get bombarded with questions like 'Isn't it weird not knowing your parents?' or 'don't you want to know them?' I see why people ask these things and I'm sure that I would to if I was in their situation. People who aren't adopted already know the people who gave birth to them and everyone assumes that they are your family. Obviously biologically they are but what I'm trying to say is that it's the people who look after you that are your family. 

The reason why I don't talk much about being adopted is because I don't really think about it. It does cross my mind because my family is my family and they are my 'real' parents.  People find it weird because they are not my 'real family' which is quite a strange thing to say to someone but I always just pass it off as people being curious, I suppose you would be. I just think that blood doesn't mean you're any more of  family and that you care more. The way I've always put it to people is; if I seen my biological mother in the street neither of us would recognise each other, she is a total stranger to me, so it's not 'real family'. I have my family and it just so happens that it took me a while to get to them, haha. I think it's the same as people who have grew up with step parents, who have became their parents. I see my family as normal as anyone else (minus all the weird traits we have hahah) and we all love each other just as much. 

People often like to say that they couldn't adopt because it's not the same as having a real child. I understand their view because it must be hard for some people and it must be so painful to give your child away but it is the same. Me and my family have knew nothing different, so it is normal. 

I've always grew up being open about this topic but I know quite a lot of people who secretly hide it. I think its a shame because it reinforces that stigma of not being a normal family. It's ok to talk about it and be open because theres nothing wrong with it. I totally understand that some people may just not want to and thats fine but I would say that it's nothing to be ashamed of.

I don't see adoption in a negative way,  I just don't understand the misconceptions that the media has made. Not everyone who is adopted has something missing, to me it's just a normal family. 

I love hearing stories like this because I think it's so interesting hearing other peoples points of view. I'd never rule out meeting my biological family and I know my real family would be right beside me if I made that decision, however I don't think it's something that I'd want to do anytime soon. 

Thank you for reading and I'd love to hear any of your thoughts or questions!!


  1. This was a beautifully written post! I know that one of my friends is adopted and she has the same attitudes as you towards her birth parents. It's really interesting learning a bit more about you too!


  2. Aw this is such a lovely post, and really nice to have an insight into a topic I know very little about. I'd love to adopt when I'm older, even if I can/do have my own biological children

    Emily xx |

  3. This was so lovely and interesting to read! Always great to learn something different. I feel like in society it's always been a little weird if you're adopted, but I don't see how or why. I don't think that. As long as you have loving parents, biological or not, then why does it matter?!xx

    Lauren |

  4. This is a beautifully written post, and I often think about adoption. My old next door neighbour was adopted from India when she was young and I always thought about what she would want to do when she grew up - meet her biological parents or not. A friend of my mum's was adopted and she had no desire to meet her biological parents as she said they're not the ones who provided for her, looked after her through the hard times and possibly didn't want her (although she always acknowledged that she didn't know that for sure). Her real parents were the ones who raised her, and that's why I totally understand why children who were adopted may not want to meet their parents.

    If you're happy with your parents, then that's great because they're your parents. They brought you up and they're the ones who love you and you love them.

    Sophie x | Essential Twenty

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  6. A very interesting topic to read, Sophie :-) loved reading about what you thought about it and I respect that - if you feel like you don't need that 'closure' then so be it, it's all about what you feel most fulfilled about! One of my cousins is adopted and I never knew for a long time but I didn't know if she actually knows herself but it certainly gave me something to think about the whole thing but ultimately, to me, family is family and I don't feel like drawing lines between 'real' and 'non-real' family...

    Cherie x
    say hi at sinonym

  7. I love this post! It was so nice to find out more about you! I really don't know much about the subject so it was great to find out! I love your perspective on it and how positive you are! I agree I think there is lots of misconceptions about being adopted from the likes of Tracy beaker! You definitely opened up my mind xx

  8. Love that you've written this! I don't really understand the "need to know bio parents" thing either, although I wasn't adopted so I guess I can't really say too much on the subject! But I always felt kind of bad for the adoptive parents when their child becomes so interested in their birth parents. I have always wanted to adopt and I hope to do so someday!

    Renee | Lose The Road

  9. Again, I can only agree with you on this topic. I think everybody is different and some people might have a need to meet their biological parents while others don´t. But the main point for me is not to hide adoption especially in front of the adopted children. In my opinion that does not only reinforce the stigma around it but also can break a person and make them question everything about themselves. Maybe that´s also why some people need to meet their birth parents.
    xx Lisa | Following Lisa

  10. This really is a great topic to write about. I think most people forget that whilst they may not biologically be the parents, in a lot of cases they have been the child's parents all their life. It's sad to know that bad stigma still surrounds adoption. I just don't think there's enough general information around for those who haven't really looked into it.


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